Mugen no Naruto: EXCEED
by Nitramy
Summary: Add two princesses from the Endless Frontier to the life of our favorite jinchuriki, and what you get is absolute mayhem. That, and maybe a trail of bleeding noses. Rated T for innuendo, pseudo-crack. R/R, please.
1. Two Princesses

_disclaimer: _none of this is mine (again).

Semi-drabble fic, may be extended to several chapters, depending on what else might be added to this fic.

The crossover will be in a very limited capacity (limited only to Naruto learning from one of the Endless Frontier characters). Otherwise, this is a straight Narutoverse fic.

Oh yeah, just to keep things nice and balanced, Naruto won't learn Kage Bunshin.

So here's Chapter One.

* * *

_**Mugen no Naruto: EXCEED**_

**Chapter One: Two Princesses**

* * *

"For the last time, this is the same spot!"

"Come on, please! One more go around, we might be able to find it!"

Two young women were having a discussion-slash-argument in the forests near the Village Hidden in the Leaves - besides their voices, not much else was known about them because they had totally hidden their appearances under heavy, hooded cloaks, obscuring even their faces.

Their voices, however, were easy to make out: one woman's voice carried the overtones of your run-of-the-mill civilian girl - the other had a haughty presence to it.

They went for another walk through the forest trails - talking and arguing the whole way through - until night finally fell.

Still nothing.

"Once... more... we might... get... lucky..." the younger one said, panting in fatigue, exasperation and frustration. Several days of searching had gotten them nowhere.

And we don't need to know about that time where they turned this scythe-wielding madman into swiss cheese slices after they had had enough of his ranting about some Devil God or whatever.

"Oh, be quiet. If I knew that helping you out through this leg of your pilgrimage would be this tedious and annoying, I would have said no."

"Come on... please don't be like that. Besides, Dad said that he finished his pilgrimage at some sort of place called Kono-something-or-other... since we can't find it here, we'll probably have more luck looking for clues in town."

"It's Konohagakure," the other girl corrected, "and since we've combed the forests for several days now and nothing... let's go to town, you ditch your cloak, and then ask your questions."

"Sigh... I guess you're right. Of all the luck... maybe Cowboy-san's bad luck with the ladies is rubbing off on me..."

_That's probably not the only thing he's rubbing off on you, _the other girl thought. _She even wore that damned dress for the trip here! Well, it does make a wonderful tool to get information from._ "That's possible," the smaller of the two girls said.

"Look, let's go over to that town, ask for directions, and then we can finish your pilgrimage here," she added, pointing towards a light in the distance that indicated a fairly large village, town, or city. "Deal?"

"Okay... deal."

* * *

October 10.

Once again, like clockwork, the child was being pursued by the usual: drunken revelers made to perceive a distorted version of the truth, deciding to take justice into their own hands.

Unfortunately, today was not that day, as the boy they had deemed to be the demon taking human form had taken cover behind two cloaked strangers.

He saw the flash of blue eyes in the bigger figure, and was that recognition at his face he saw? He tried to escape the newest twist to this day's developments, but found that he was being held in place by a figure cloaked in shadow.

"This is supposed to be a festival," the smaller cloaked figure said. "Let me guess: it's your annual 'Beat-a-Child Festival'!"

"Shut up, lady! You don't know anything about that demon child!"

"Demon child, eh?" she replied. _I guess we've found the reason for this long and annoying trip. Time to work out my frustrations._ "If there's a demon here, then you're looking at one."

The smaller figure pulled down her hood, revealing the face of a decidedly strange woman: light cornflower-blue hair, yellow catlike eyes, pointy ears and a horn in the middle of her forehead.

"M-m-m-monster!" a man yelled at her appearance.

"The correct term is... 'oni'..." the girl replied, producing a fan. "And for getting it wrong, I think I shall make the whole lot of you... dance."

"Arrogant oni monster!" another yelled.

"Bad idea," the blue-eyed figure said. "Now you've made her mad."

The 'oni' snapped her fan open, and the figure in the shadows appeared, having given the child to the blue-eyed one.

"Now... dance for me."

There were flashes of light and explosions.

* * *

The ANBU known as "Dog" saw the commotion from the tops of the buildings, deciding to call for reinforcements and set up a trap just in case these strange people who decided to do ANBU's job for them had other things in mind.

Fortunately, that was not the case, for as soon as the sounds of firecrackers started filling the alley, the would-be assailants ran out, clutching the soles of their feet whenever they could.

"Fucking psycho!"

"What the hell was that thing?"

"Agh, I got hit in the foot!"

"That's what you get for being so fucking slow!"

"Dog" chuckled under his mask as he decided to make his grand entrance.

"Identify yourselves, please," the ANBU said as he appeared in a swirl of leaves before the child and the two figures - _wait, weren't there three figures before?_

"It looks like your little show got the cops here," the blue-eyed cloaked woman said. "We've found what we came for here anyway, right?"

"Right," the smaller woman said, with the source of those strange noises somehow disappearing. "Oh... uh... police? Shouldn't you be going after those people? I guess today really is the 'Beat-a-Child-Festival' here..."

"Today actually isn't Konoha's 'Beat-a-Child Festival', and my colleagues are apprehending those men as we speak... but my detail is primarily keeping the boy safe."

"Bodyguards, huh? Shouldn't you have one of yours in close?" the cloaked woman asked.

"Sadly, we can't spare that much, and one more thing: let the boy go."

"I took several weeks walking through God-forsaken forests helping little miss Bouncy here," the smaller woman said exasperatedly, pointing to her companion, "finish her pilgrimage, and run into all sorts of... **annoyances...** like bandits, bastards with black coats, scythe-wielding freaks, missing-nin, and chakra monsters on our merry little way. Now that we've found what we came here for, we're not just going to give up. You might as well have to arrest us."

"Arrest? What are you on?" the cloaked woman whispered to her companion.

"Didn't your father say he knew a 'Hokage' person?" the oni woman whispered back, making the eyes of her cloaked companion light up in recognition. "If we go with them, we'll get to see that friend of your father's."

The cloaked woman nodded before turning back to the dog-masked ANBU. "All right, but we want to meet with your Hokage."

The ANBU shrugged. "Very well, I'll have a team escort you."

"Not a problem," both women answered, likewise shrugging.

The boy who had clung onto the cloaked woman's leg had now fallen asleep and was now being carried.

_Weird. Just weird, _the ANBU thought, signaling to his team to back him up in escorting this motley crew to the Hokage Tower.

* * *

"What brings you here on this day, Inu?" Sarutobi Hiruzen - the Sandaime Hokage - asked as one of his ANBU had been given audience with the Hokage about another one of these annual incidents.

"Another attack, Hokage-sama," the ANBU answered.

"This totally wasn't what my predecessor had in mind," the Hokage grunted.

"My sensei would have **reacted,**" the ANBU replied. "Anyway, two strangers saved the kid, we stepped in before anything else happened, and they asked for a meeting with you before handing Naruto over to me - kid's back in his apartment."

"Hmm," the Sandaime said, sparing a moment off paperwork for thought. "Send them in, if you please."

As soon as the two women went into the Hokage's office, the blue-eyed woman took down the hood, revealing long red-black hair framing a strikingly beautiful face.

"Good evening, Hokage-sama. My father Nanbu Sanuki sends his regards."

The Hokage did a picture-perfect double-take at this. "Sanuki Nanbu? But... the last time we met was when he went on his pilgrimage several decades ago..."

"Yes, and he told me all about meeting you, sir. I am his daughter Kaguya. And this is Suzuka-hime of the Shiki-Oni."

"Pleased to meet you, Hokage-sama," Suzuka-hime said.

"The honor is mine, I'm sure. And the air-conditioning seals were just discharged shortly before your arrival. It's going to get stifling here in a short while."

"Phew, thanks, Hokage-sama..." Kaguya said. "This cloak had been getting rather stuffy for some time now," she added, ditching the cloak and revealing her outfit: a white mini dress with black trim that was several sizes too tight and revealed way too much: white slide-on sleeves and white thigh-high stockings and boots rounded out her ensemble.

"Dog" was at his master's side immediately, handing him a red handkerchief. "Hokage-sama," he said, getting an appreciative nod in return as the old man tactfully put the red cloth to his nose. Seriously, those things were as large - no, scratch that - they were **DEFINITELY **larger than that of the famed Sannin's.

In between applying pressure to his nose, the Sandaime was grateful to the entire pantheon of gods that his other student Jiraiya was away on his usual cloak-and-dagger business - the Toad Sage would have died of blood loss via nasal hemorrhage in several seconds flat.

"Suzuka, better ditch your coat too, it's gonna turn into a furnace in here," Kaguya told her companion, stretching herself out and causing her already-strained outfit nearly cause a wardrobe malfunction, making the faces of the two men in the room redden a bit as they turned away from the sight.

"Fine," the oni replied as she had a mechanical construct raise the cloak off her.

Now it was the ANBU's turn to procure a red handkerchief of his own and stuff it through the mask, as the oni girl showed off her lithe physique in a blue dress that covered everything but the important details.

The bells attached to her twin-tail sideburns jingled and jangled every time she made a sudden movement - what was miles worse was that the cut of her dress accentuated her hips, which swayed this way and that as she tapped her feet in waiting.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could sense the ANBU's eyes moving in perfect synchronization to the swing of her hips, almost like a metronome.

"Keep it up if you're in the mood for some dancing," Suzuka-hime whispered, fan at the ready, causing the ANBU to shift his eyes towards the smaller woman's horn.

Meanwhile, Kaguya had finished telling her story, and the reason why she went all the way from her home to Konoha.

"So your father picked up a Hoshi no Tama from the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and that's one of your final tasks in this pilgrimage of yours?" the Hokage asked, his composure kept as he maintained his gaze at the bridge of this young woman's nose.

If his gaze strayed elsewhere, the Sandaime Hokage would have to be sent to the hospital for a blood transfusion - he was already beginning to feel light-headed just for letting his eyes catch a glimpse of the very well-shaped physique of Nanbu Sanuki's daughter; and her outfit that left little to the imagination worsened it.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. That boy..."

"You are correct."

"I will use the _fuin_ developed by my family to receive the gift from the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, Hokage-sama... but... uh... you don't look too well to oversee it. Maybe another day?"

"Yes... another day sounds good," the Hokage managed to say.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"You're very welcome, Princess Kaguya."

"Now if you don't mind, Suzuka and I have some lodging for the night to find."

"Go right ahead, but I have to say that finding a place will be difficult because of today's festival. Also... do put your cloaks back on before leaving the Tower. I, uh..." the Hokage said, "it wouldn't do a Hokage's reputation any good if..."

Nanbu Kaguya gave him a tilted-head look in confusion until her companion jabbed her in the side with a wayward elbow. "Just do as the Hokage says," the oni girl said, her coat having been put back on by that weird construct that seemed to appear and disappear at the beck and call of her fans. _Some sort of puppetry jutsu, perhaps? _both Hokage and ANBU thought.

It need not be noted that it was a very good thing that both women had their cloaks on when they bowed to the Hokage before leaving.

Right after the two women left, the Hokage slumped over on his chair, the blood loss taking effect.

"Blood pills, Kakashi. Quickly. And get a team of ANBU to call Jiriaya back here, he'll need to oversee the Princess' end of the pilgrimage."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," "Dog" said, handing the Hokage two blood pills and taking two himself - those swaying hips were more formidable than an A-Rank genjutsu, Sharingan be damned.

"What do you think?" the Hokage asked after several minutes had passed and the blood pills took effect. "This will be interesting."

"Indeed, Hokage-sama... things will be very interesting." _And we'll be seeing one or **maybe** two new characters in the sequel - if our author friend won't keel over upon seeing them._

Chapter One - **END**


	2. Bounty Hunters

_disclaimer: _none of this is mine.

More drabble-like than others. Also, writing this while I work out my writer's block on Twin Fates.

Prologue is now Chapter One, by the way.

* * *

_**Mugen no Naruto: EXCEED**_

**Chapter Two - Bounty Hunters**

* * *

Time passed on, uneventful, in the Endless Frontier...

...there were incidents, near misses, misunderstandings and epic battles, but they too were put in the back burner of history as life slowly returned to its normal pace.

It was five years since Princess Kaguya Nanbu finished her pilgrimage; ascending to the throne of Kagura Amahara - it had been a long and tempestuous affair with the free-spirited cowboy, but sadly, those times were past.

Still, it spoke of the times they had shared together - not just the two of them, but also everyone in their little gang - that they were able to part ways as friends.

For Haken Browning, he decided right then and there to pack up his things and leave the Endless Frontier - to do a little wandering of his own.

He had gotten less than a kilometer away when his mechanical sidekicks somehow caught up with him.

Shrugging, he just let them come along for the ride, using what his friend KOS-MOS' techniques in dimension manipulation taught him to keep the Gespenst, Nacht and Abend from catching too much unwanted attention.

A cloak for his traveling partner, servant, combat ally and foil Aschen - who took her sweet time in following him and had a lot of words for his abrupt departure - would suffice.

By the time they had reached their destination, he had Aschen register herself as subject of particularly gruesome and inhuman experiments (with crocodile tears to boot) to the gatepeople of this ninja village, and thus they let Aschen through.

Haken though, got in with no problem whatsoever, claiming the Night Fowl and Longtomb Special as self-defense weapons.

As he walked along the town's streets, he chuckled as he thought of his dear Kaguya-hime's request right before he departed.

_"Look after the boy. Many will be after him. If you can, give him these scrolls - I've only given him the first half of what he needs to be learning."_

While Aschen took some time to find temporary lodging for the both of them, the cowboy decided to take some time off in taking a walk, when he stumbled upon...

...is that an open-air hot spring?

You could almost see Haken Browning's eyes turn into hearts as he quickly and stealthily made his way over to the divider at the women's side, aiming to get a good eyeful of the female form (Otone was, after all, the hottest kunoichi in Kagura Amahara, barring Kaguya - and Suzuka-hime was there for the people with... "special interests".)

Five minutes in, he didn't notice a white-haired middle-aged man right beside him, eye-balling the mountainous scenery as well.

"Like what you see?" the man asked Haken.

"The one with the purple hair, now those are some well-toned pecs to keep that pair up."

"Right you are. Whew, thank goodness I made it back to the Chunin Exams. All the kunoichi hotties at this time gather 'round."

"I'll bet."

"Name's Jiraiya, by the way."

"Haken Browning, bounty hunter."

"You didn't per chance see a strange green-haired part-mechanical young woman walking around town, did you?"

"That would be... my sidekick."

"Ah."

"Oh, that's so just not good," Haken said, letting out a low whistle as he saw another kunoichi enter the hot springs. "Tell me, what does the newcomer specialize in?"

"Genjutsu."

"Ah. Illusion abilities?"

"Yeah. Hmm..." Jiraiya mused as he continued looking, "for someone who doesn't look like he's from around these parts, you do sure know a good bit about ninja."

"Ex-girlfriend learned under one. Well, when she was training..."

"...she used you as a guinea pig, and worse when you got into a lover's quarrel. I feel your pain, Mr. Browning," Jiraiya replied, "and in my case, I haven't even hooked up with her."

"Ouch," Haken answered as he winced in sympathetic pain.

"You don't know the half of it," Jiraiya replied. "Anyway, I got word that I was supposed to help out with a few sealing problems here, plus the chance to do a bit more research..."

"Research?"

"What we're doing right now."

"Oh. Is **that** what they're calling it these days?" Haken asked cheekily. "Jiraiya... your name rings a bell. You know who wrote those orange books Kaguya-hime and Suzuka-hime import?"

"Why yes, I am the writer."

"No offense meant, Jiraiya-san," Haken said, "but your material lends itself better to dramatic than comedic work."

"So I've heard. Say, shop talk aside, what exactly is your reason for being here?"

"My ex just passed onto me a big-ass scroll with most of her clan's sword techniques. I was gonna pass it over to some kid here who got the basic half from her some years back."

"Based on what I've been getting, that would be Naruto. Come on, let's go meet him, I also have an appointment with the brat."

Haken's nose crinkled slightly. "Kaguya-hime saw something in the kid. 'Brat' doesn't seem like a good enough nickname for him."

"You'll see just how far he's gone when we finally have a chance to see him in action," Jiraiya said, his tone implying pride in the boy. "Now come on, these girls will be back later tonight after training."

"All right," Haken said, and the two of them jumped off the tree.

* * *

Red skies outside.

Calm wooden floors inside.

White walls.

A scroll stretched out to reveal the name of the school.

And, of course, practice swords.

**"OUCH!"**

A boy wearing an orange-and-black kendo training uniform was clutching his head from the lump that was beginning to grow on it.

"Stupid boy. If you'd have gone for the four-step ikazuchi, your stance would have carried enough momentum to block my overhead attack."

"Sorry, sensei..."

"Don't 'sorry sensei' me with those Puppy Dog Eyes jutsu! You **KNOW** those don't work on me," the redhead answered. "Now pick up the sword and we'll go through another round."

"All right, all right..." he replied before hauling himself from the wooden floor and grabbing his shinai.

"Stances."

"Hai."

The boy and the redheaded young woman exchanged glances...

...and then charged forward, swords drawn...

"...ruto..."

"...Na...ruto..."

He ducked his head one way.

**"NARUTO!**"

His eyes popped open almost immediately.

"What is it, Haruno-san?"

The pinkette now in front of him could now pass for a Western cherry, as her face was getting redder by the moment.

"Ooh! What I was saying, is that Kakashi-sensei took Sasuke-kun with him to train for the finals. He said he'd hook you up with someone on your end of the deal - what are you doing, anyway?"

He disentangled himself from his meditative pose on his favorite boulder and stood up to face his teammate. "Training."

"That's it?"

Naruto smiled. "Yes. That's just it."

"How are you going to defeat that eyebrow freak in the finals if all you'll do this month is meditate? You've seen him, he's even faster than you!"

"Ah, yes, dear Haruno-san, but I... have a sword."

"Even then, what would happen if you managed to lose it?" a voice asked, and when the two Konoha genin turned towards the source, they saw two of the strangest characters ever.

Well, strange since they ran across one Momochi Zabuza in Wave, and the very, very girly (to the point where Naruto had a nervous breakdown after he found out that the girl he was openly and unabashedly flirting with was a guy) Haku.

It started with the Demon Brothers making for their client, and Naruto revealing the enormous (relative to his size, all that training kind of delayed his growth spurt) two-handed sword he called "Baou".

The two missing-nin caught Naruto's last name and promptly ran for the hills.

When Zabuza made his grand entrance, he looked for the Uzumaki, and almost called the mission off after seeing the boy dispatch his Mizu Bunshin like ice sculptures - they didn't need to pull off the old senbon-to-the-neck trick, as Zabuza knew that it was a very, very, VERY bad idea to tango with a clan of legendary swordsmen - even if it was a kid.

He just said his goodbyes, gave Kakashi the finger, and got the hell out of Dodge.

The next time at the bridge, it was the Konoha contingent's turn to be surprised beyond all hell as Zabuza turned on his employer faster than you can say "Demon of the Bloody Mist".

When the rabble was cleared out, and while the newly-liberated people of Wave were quickly building Tazuna's Bridge, Zabuza and his apprentices let the story unfold - he was still connected with Hidden Mist, albeit through an underground resistance. The "Demon of the Bloody Mist" ran mercenary and bodyguard missions and sent all the funds to his (smoking hot) boss back in Kirigakure.

With Gato's head on a spike and his criminal empire essentially dismantled, this gave whoever Zabuza was working for a sudden windfall.

The Kiri missing-nin wanted to stay longer and chat with the Uzumaki boy, but he had to take the funds back to Kiri and to the resistance ASAP.

Thus did the strangest A-Rank mission for Team 7 come to an end.

Back to the present, Uzumaki Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing. Two of the most outlandish characters were smiling at him and his teammate.

The first one was - to his guess - a ninja, but with that getup, didn't seem all-too ninja-like. _Yeah, I still wear an orange muffler, but I only wear it in town, and on more mundane missions, like those D-ranks... _he thought.

And if he thought the first one was outlandish, the second one took it further places than he'd ever thought before. The silver hair wasn't that much out of place, but his outfit - a weird black hat, red scarf, gaudy long coat and pants on top of pants, add to that some weirder variants of the muskets he saw from the Fire Daimyo's guard a few months ago - filled up Uzumaki Naruto's "weirdness quota" for today and possibly several days after that.

"You must be Naruto," the guy with the funny hat said. "Nice to meet you."

* * *

"So, uh, I end up on a team with Haruno and Uchiha-san with Kakashi-sensei leading us; it's been pretty decent going so far. Wave was weird, the second part of the exams was weirder - I got forced to ask for Ane-chan's help-" Naruto explained, until he pitched forward, as if suddenly struck.

"Ow!" Naruto said. "Gimme a moment, will you?"

As soon as he made it into the mindscape again, a slap from a paper fan to the back of the head knocked him to the dojo floor.

**"BAKA!"** the redhead shouted. "You would tell them about me?"

"But Ane-chan..." Naruto answered, rubbing his aching head, "I wouldn't have saved Haruno and Uchiha if it wasn't for your power."

"To hell with that! You were this close, and I mean, THIS close to being found out! If they knew I was helping you, what do you think would happen?"

"Uh..."

"Okay, keep telling them everything! See if I'll continue to help you from here on out!"

Naruto groaned as he was pushed back out the mindscape.

"You back with us, kid?" the guy with the hat asked.

"Yeah..." Naruto answered. "Anyway, I got to make the save against that snake guy, Uchiha's off training, and I think Kakashi-sensei got some dude named Ebisu to help Haruno-san out."

"Didn't think the Kyuubi would end up being more temperamental than I thought," Jiraiya mused, chuckling a bit inside as he saw the blonde's look of shock.

"Relax, kid," he continued. "I'm not the one here to be getting you ready versus Rock Lee. Haken-san's gonna stay here for a month or so, and he'll earn his room and board by training you."

"Cool."

"Jiraiya," Haken asked. "How do I get to talk to... Naruto's... tenant?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "You put your hand on the seal and visualize it."

"Okay," Haken answered as he did just that to Naruto, who had been suddenly rendered immobile by a Kanashibari no Jutsu the Toad Sage threw at him from out of nowhere.

* * *

"Yo."

"I said, I didn't want to talk to you! Get out, Naruto!"

"Er... I'm not exactly Naruto."

The redhead turned to see the strangely-dressed man standing in the dojo atrium, placing his boots in the shoe rack near the entrance.

"Who might you be?"

"A friend of Princess Kaguya."

"Oh! Kaguya-hime! So, tell me how she's doing?"

"It's Queen Kaguya now, her father retired just before I left Kagura Amahara."

"And Suzuka?"

"Still the same."

She chuckled. "Hasn't grown here, I'll bet," she said as she grabbed her chest.

"Two out of two," Haken answered. "Anyway, the name's Haken... and I'm just here to give you the missing half of the Jinraku Tengen scroll Princess Kaguya had you teach the boy few years back."

"Great," the redhead answered.

"So tell me, Haken-san... why aren't you frightened of me?" she asked, glaring at the man, her red eyes beginning to glow eerily right after taking the scroll.

"There, there," Haken replied. "The gang and I have taken on a lot more than beings made of chakra, and we beat 'em to the ground, pardon my bragging. So if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my leave of you, ma'am."

The glowing receded, and the redhead began laughing.

"Do give Queen Knockers my regards."

"Oh yeah, she's grown another cup size since last you met her."

"Impossible," the redhead replied. "She's gotta be wearing a back brace now."

"Well, thank Jinraku Tengen for not letting it come to that, eh?"

"Of course, how could I have overlooked the style's... other benefits?"

The two shared a chuckle before Haken turned to leave.

"You'll send Kaguya my regards, won't you?"

"Yep," Haken said. "I'll probably get my friends to drop by every now and then to make sure you won't be lonely."

"Thanks," the redhead answered. "It can get tedious with just the boy for company. You should have been here during the first few weeks. The boy was just too hyperactive, I thought he was sick in the head."

"I'll tell Queen Kaguya thanks on your behalf for that, too. Farewell, Nine-Tailed Demon Fox."

"See you later, Mr. Cowboy."

He tilted his hat and gave her a thumbs-up before disappearing from the mindscape.

* * *

Two days later:

"First things first, Naruto - I'm not here to train you on how to use your sword - that's what your tenant is for. Also, by what Kaguya-hime told me back then, it will take a lot of time for you to integrate the advanced concepts into your fighting style, time we don't have."

Naruto nodded, sword at the ready.

"So what we'll be doing for today up to three days before the Finals, is good-old-fashioned combat training. I'll call on my friends, we'll beat you up until you get stronger and faster. Nothing gets you better quicker, in my opinion."

"Your friends?"

Haken pushed on one of his cuff links, and with a pulling sensation Naruto felt that reminded him of Kakashi-sensei's Summoning Technique, a lumbering black monstrosity appeared at his erstwhile sensei's side.

"Haken-sensei... what is that?" Naruto asked with rapidly growing horror as he saw the vaguely human-shaped thing's eyes glow.

"Uzumaki Naruto... meet Phantom."

* * *

Two weeks later:

"So, how's training the kid going?" Jiraiya asked as the two were at their usual spot.

"Kid's got endurance, let me tell you. I thought it would take him three weeks before I'd bring Nacht and Abend into the picture, but he's able to take on one of them easily now," Haken replied. "And right now, I don't know what to do next in training him."

"I've got an idea," Jiraiya replied.

"Spill."

"Have him take on two of them... or three."

The two shared an evil grin before continuing their research.

* * *

"Aschen," Haken said after three weeks had passed.

"Yes, sir?"

"Something came up. I'm gonna need you to back me up on something."

"Is it about the boy you and Dairy Queen are training?"

"Yup," Haken answered as he hauled his trusty firearms out of the closet. "We're gonna be training him personally for this last week. He's nearly taken down Phantom, Nacht and Abend in a 1-on-3 fight."

"Interesting. I'd like to have a shot at him - haven't gotten into a good scrap in awhile."

* * *

As the day dawned for Konoha's Chunin Exams, many things were going on behind the scenes - one of which was Haken and Aschen discreetly catching some guy they sensed was a double agent and beating him into unconsciousness so he wouldn't take part in today's festivities.

And one Uzumaki Naruto strode towards the stadium, silently cursing hot-and-cold redheads who loved to call him "baka" and smack him around with a paper fan; cowboys with funny hats and high-powered firearms; robotic sidekicks with laser cannons, claymore mines, gigantic rifles, and goodness knows what others; and green-haired robot girls who would pound him into the soil if he made but one mistake in training.

He'd been shown the worst of what those guys can do - he would be ready for whatever Rock Lee would throw against him.

* * *

"Summoned snake at our nine!"

"I got it," the cowboy said as he sprang into action, taking out a Sound-nin with a well-placed revolver shot to the shoulder.

"ANBU squadron is about to be overrun in sector 247A!"

"Nacht, Abend," Haken ordered as he unsealed his two other sidekicks. "Back those guys up. Phantom, you're with me."

With a glimmer of acknowledgment in their eyes, the two Personal Troopers took to the fray in assistance of Konohagakure, their black counterpart staying with the cowboy as it covered the other ninja.

Meanwhile, several Sound ninja were gaping, as the strange green-haired woman's green leotard seemed to be disintegrating.

That was the last sight they saw, because the next thing they knew, they were sent soaring through the air, most of them sporting broken jaws, noses, bruised diaphragms, or unconscious from solar plexus hits.

"Bai-bai!" the last one of them heard, seeing a green-haired mechanical monster waving to them as they sailed right over Konoha's gates.

Besides that, one of Manda's elder offspring thought that this was a town of easy pickings... right until a beam of light from nowhere sent him right back to the summoned world with ease.

And during this time, Team 7 was pursuing the Sand Siblings through the forests outside Konoha.

It need not be said that even if everything somehow ended up the same, the results were remarkably different as one Uzumaki Naruto, getting a hint from the entity sealed within him, made the rounds of the Elemental Countries as possibly the only genin who took out a rampaging bijuu by rearing up and giving it a massive chakra-powered kick to the balls.

Chapter Two - **END**

**notes:**

In this fic, the Uzumakis are not only expert seal masters, they were also skilled swordsmen. It's Kushina's DNA that allowed Naruto to learn Jinraku Tengen faster than the tsundere fox inside him even realized (and she did know that Kushina was no swordswoman).

Didn't want to go through the details of the events - we'll just go through them via flashbacks as we go along.


	3. Unlikely Couples

_standard fanfic disclaimer notices apply. please consult with doctor before use._

**foreword:** About how Naruto won against Shukaku, it's because tanuki in Japanese mythology tend to have large and prominent family jewels. Bijuu or not, getting nailed in the nads **HURTS.**

Anyway, here's Chapter Three featuring another set of Frontier characters...

* * *

**Mugen no Naruto: EXCEED**

**Chapter Three: Unlikely Couples**

* * *

"See you guys in baa-chan's office!"

The aqua-haired girl simply tilted her head in slight confusion upon seeing the blonde run off into the streets of Konohagakure.

"So... we'll be... going home?"

"That's so, but not anytime soon."

"Kouta-kun didn't follow us? He had been a great help to the boy's training."

"Well..." her red-haired companion answered, "Kouta might get a lot of unwanted attention. You remember what happened with the big blue cat?"

"Yes... and even with Kouta-kun, the cat, the boy and the two of us, we barely managed to fight them off..."

The strangely-dressed couple walked along the streets of what the boy had called the Village Hidden in the Leaves - _odd, _thought the redhead, _the map says Fire Country, but the Village is named after Leaves... how anachronistic._

How the two managed to end up taking charge of a certain loudmouth blonde kid's training when he should be with a certain Toad Sage was the most telling detail of all...

* * *

Time stopped.

He was millimeters away from his objective, but the distance could have very well been a mile. Voices echoed around him, conspirators that usually made their plans and moves without the presence of God, and were thus thwarted time and time again by divine intervention.

Usually... but there always had to be exceptions, like this one.

"That's it... you got it?"

"Yes."

"We have what we came here for. Let's blow this joint."

"All right."

By the time everything returned to normal, the black-cloaked man was seething in frustration, gripping his weapon so hard it sent cracks through the strange black sword.

It was supposed to be a picture-perfect snatch - take out the old man, take the kid, snatch the Nine-Tails...

...and it all went to naught because of those two people sticking their nose in God's business.

_I'll remember you... this isn't over. Nobody messes with a God's affairs and lives to tell the tale._

By the time they were sure no one was pursuing, the girl was already sending pulses of recuperative power to the horrible wounds this old man suffered - and the man was getting the blonde boy up - noting the familiar - and very cracked - sword he carried.

_So he's the understudy of Kaguya-hime's... lucky break for us, that it was._

"Alfimi, how's the old man doing?"

"He'll live."

"And I thought the Frontier was weird. Just what the hell were those strange eyes of those orange-haired freaks, anyhow?" _I was this close to bringing Arcgain out - but when I saw the girl we took out suddenly stand right back up..._

The red markings on Alfimi's cheeks pulsed slightly as she closed her eyes. "Some sort of remote-control, Axel; it's similar to what I used... back when I piloted the Persoenlichkeit."

Axel Almer closed his eyes before flashing forward and swinging with the bladed tonfa, barely missing a strange white entity who also wore the cloak of their pursuer.

"A spy!" Axel roared. "Arcgain, after him; Alfimi, you're with me!"

The battle was short, and by the time the strange man had been punched enough, Axel Almer was grinning - two birds with one stone, so to speak.

"Good as good, Alfimi?"

The aqua-haired girl smiled so widely it shut her eyes. "Good as good."

"Great. Arcgain, bring the two of them... and let's go find a nearby town."

* * *

"Axel Almer reporting for duty, ma'am."

"Einst Alfimi... reporting... for duty."

"...so I hear you've finished training Naruto."

"Yep," Axel answered, "he's a mighty tough young one, and that's not because of the tsundere."

Alfimi gave her companion an odd look. "Tsundere?"

"That just means she's grouchy on the outside but a total softie on the inside. We spent some time in there. You saw."

"...so she slaps... the boy around with a paper fan... because she cares about him?" the confused aqua-haired girl asked slowly, trying to articulate her thoughts on the matter.

"Sort of."

"Ahem," the Hokage said, "if we're done with our little discussion on character quirks and how they allow you to talk about things even we're not supposed to be talking about here, what business do the two of you have here still?"

"Heard one of yer jonin was a good hand at weapons. Gon' try and give him (or her) some tips on how ta' use this," Axel replied, his accent thickening at the attention given to him by the Hokage as he took up a stance with that bladed tonfa he used extensively.

"I suppose that's fair," the Hokage answered. "Do you want provisional affiliation with Konoha?"

"That would not... be right," Alfimi replied. "We're here... to help Naruto... and his friends..."

The Hokage nodded her understanding. "I see. Well, for now, I'll give you the run of the town and a few lower-ranked training grounds. Your reward will be given once you put in your findings in writing and submit it to our Intelligence department."

"That would be very appreciated. Thanks for your time, ma'am, er, Hokage-sama."

"And thanks to the both of you as well. Dismissed."

Alfimi nodded, and with a turn, the two left the Hokage's office.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto hefted the large sword carefully, then swung.

Chakra nature training helped immensely during his time away from Konoha - whereas before, he needed to attach shuriken, kunai and ninja wire to his blade to serve as projectiles in the Jinraku Tengen style, he now used chakra constructs almost exclusively.

It was mentally tiring work, but the more he trained in it, the sharper his battlefield intuition became. His thoughts came to his two odd saviors, the redhead named Axel and the quiet girl named Alfimi. They came to the Elemental Countries at just the right time to stop the Akatsuki from capturing him, when their itinerary was just to head to Konoha and give him the sword crafted in Kagura Amahara - to replace Baou, the sword he broke against Uchiha Sasuke in the Valley of the End.

Swinging the newly-christened Dawnslayer, he went through the motions once more, until his training was interrupted by a summons from the Hokage.

_What could baa-chan want this time? _Naruto thought, and when he arrived in the office, the odd couple was also awaiting him.

"Genin Uzumaki Naruto," Tsunade began, "a package just arrived for you from the Land of Snow."

All eyes went to the huge box in the middle of the room.

"Apparently, the people of Snow have put that... what did they call it... karakuri back together and upgraded it with their technology. What they need is a chakra source to power it, which is where you come in."

_Oh, brother._

_**Great, more poorly-disguised metaphors.**_

_Tell me about it, Kyuu._

"Say, kid, want help in taking that home?"

Naruto nodded, and in a flash, Arcgain was in the room and hoisting the box.

_I think I'll have to ask him how to do that, _the Hokage thought.

* * *

"Say, you heard the news? Some chick with a big gun and even bigger boobs stopped the Akatsuki's attempt on kidnapping Gaara. She had this redhead who punched the shit out of things fighting alongside her."

"Really, now?"

Naruto paid just the right amount of attention to Shikamaru and Temari conversing as he cut a path to his apartment with the odd couple and robot carrying a box in tow.

"So how is training Tenten-san and Neji-san?" Naruto asked.

"She is... a natural," Alfimi replied.

"Neji's every bit the prodigy his uncle and the Hokage touted him as," Axel added. "They're already modifying my style with their own bits and pieces. Not bad for ten weeks worth of training, in my opinion."

"So this is goodbye then, Axel-san?"

"After I drop this off? Yeah," he answered. "Alfimi and I will be stopping over in the Frontier before returning home."

And indeed, right after the Arcgain dropped off the odd box in Naruto's apartment, the two strangers from the Endless Frontier made their departure.

_Now to open the box._

Naruto gasped as soon as he did, because an unbelievable amount of fuchsia assaulted his eyes upon opening the box lid. After blinking away the glare and rubbing his eyes, he gaped.

Inside the box was a woman wearing a fuchsia bodysuit.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oh, Naruto. You are so in a world of trouble.


End file.
